One of the greatest things I’ve learnt here is understanding more the rhythm of how God works in my daily lives. What kind of things His likes and dislikes. How He would want me to respond to things, people and situations.
In the area of relationships between me and my hubby for example; the inner workings of things… about the trust issue, understanding more of unconditional love, setting oneself apart for the other half, about commitment a.k.a conviction to go through the ups and downs of life together no matter what.
Other than that, I’ve learnt that when I develop a desire for something (anything), to be able to say with integrity that I have fully given that desire to God to work it out, it would mean not to be ATTACHED to it, not to be affected or feel a NEED for it in order for me to be happy. That is a true surrender. It is for me to say, whether I receive ‘this’ or not, it is all well with my soul. I believe God just loves that type of surrendering all unto Him. He loves knowing that our relationship with Him is the most important thing in our lives, and none of this ‘little things’ can shake our confidence and trust in Him.
It is the sense of solitude, of focus that I amazingly found throughout my time here (in the midst of living in the sincity of North America, this alone is a miracle). It is a feeling of being set apart for something bigger than life itself.
But as the days go by, the feeling of discovery has brought a sense of delight into my soul. A feeling like I have accomplished something. It is not tangible, nor measurable, but I know it is real. It feels very special because for the first time I understand what it means by achieving something in ways that cannot be seen nor measured. I have acquired knowledge and understanding. It is not in material form, nor is it a success in ministry or career. It is very liberating. It is a feeling that our lives are worth much more to God than pure statistics; of how much ‘results’ we can produce for Him.
It is a very nice feeling knowing that God DOES care about those little details…. They are often called PROCESS. I love it. It leaves you with a feeling that ‘everything is under control’. Not yours of course, but His. It compels joy to come out of you and it is really tangible in that sense. People can see it. You know it. It is an obvious thing.
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